You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I need help removing her.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
