I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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