You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize