I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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