Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My vagina is officially offended.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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