Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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