And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
