You can't motorboat a personality
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Randomize
