I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
