Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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