we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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