I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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