I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
