This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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