My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
