i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
