no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
