Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
