ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
