The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
