I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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