Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
