i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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