Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
