4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
How naked do you want me to be?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
