so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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