This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
