If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
