what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
