We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
