I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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