I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
honey bunches of taint.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
