her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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