I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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