dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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