she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
