does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
