I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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