a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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