I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
