just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
