hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
