dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize