are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
