Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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