Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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