My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
