Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
