I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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