So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I party with great urgency now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
