here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
