brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
