Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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