When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
