You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize