Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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