I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
