there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
