I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
