Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
