I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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