she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
