you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
