I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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