To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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