curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Still dying that you shit outside
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
