he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Someone shattered a urinal.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
