She said her name was "party"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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