Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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