dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
