last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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