so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
