your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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