i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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