That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
