why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize