do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
